The Complete List of 101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged
Chapter 1 — Personal Background & Values (Questions 1–15)
- What do you consider your greatest strengths as a person?
- What do you consider your greatest weaknesses?
- What is the most important thing in your life right now?
- What are the three most important events that shaped who you are today?
- What does a typical day look like for you?
- How would your closest friends describe you?
- What are your deepest fears?
- Have you ever struggled with addiction of any kind?
- What is your happiest childhood memory?
- What is your most painful childhood memory?
- How do you handle stress or pressure?
- What makes you feel most alive?
- What are your core values — the ones you'd never compromise?
- How important is personal growth and self-improvement to you?
- Is there anything in your past that you feel I should know about?
Chapter 2 — Communication & Conflict (Questions 16–30)
- How do you typically express love?
- How do you prefer to receive love?
- When we disagree, what is your typical response?
- Are you comfortable saying "I'm sorry" when you are wrong?
- How important is it for you to "win" an argument?
- What topics are difficult for you to talk about?
- How did your parents handle conflict?
- Do you tend to hold grudges or forgive easily?
- How do you feel about going to a counselor if we have problems?
- What role does honesty play in a relationship for you?
- Are there things you have not told me that I should know?
- How do you feel when someone criticizes you?
- What is your communication style — direct or indirect?
- How important is it for you to be heard and understood?
- What is the biggest misunderstanding you've had in a relationship?
Chapter 3 — Finances & Career (Questions 31–45)
- What is your current financial situation?
- Do you have any debts? If so, how much?
- How do you feel about budgeting?
- Are you a saver or a spender?
- How do you feel about one partner earning more than the other?
- What are your career goals for the next five years?
- How important is career success to you compared to family?
- Would you be willing to relocate for a career opportunity?
- How do you feel about lending money to family or friends?
- What is your philosophy on charitable giving?
- Should we have joint or separate bank accounts?
- What is the most you would spend without consulting your partner?
- How were finances handled in your family growing up?
- What does financial security mean to you?
- Do you have a retirement savings plan?
Chapter 4 — Family & In-Laws (Questions 46–60)
- How would you describe your relationship with your parents?
- How involved do you expect your parents to be in our married life?
- What traditions from your family would you like to continue?
- What traditions from your family would you like to leave behind?
- How do you feel about spending holidays with each other's families?
- How close do you want to live to your family?
- If your parents needed care, would you be willing to have them live with us?
- How do you handle disagreements with your family members?
- What role does your family's opinion play in your decisions?
- What did your parents' marriage teach you about relationships?
- Are there any family issues I should be aware of?
- How do you feel about your partner's family?
- What would you do if your family and I had a conflict?
- How important is it to you that our families get along?
- What boundaries do you think we need with our families?
Chapter 5 — Children & Parenting (Questions 61–75)
- Do you want children? If so, how many?
- When would you ideally like to start a family?
- What is your parenting philosophy?
- How were you disciplined as a child, and how would you discipline ours?
- How do you feel about adoption or fertility treatments?
- Would one of us stay home with the children?
- What role does education play in your vision for our children?
- How would you handle it if we couldn't have children?
- What values do you most want to pass on to our children?
- How do you feel about your partner's involvement in parenting?
- What kind of relationship do you want our children to have with their grandparents?
- How would having children change your career plans?
- How do you feel about screen time and technology for children?
- What are your views on allowances and teaching children about money?
- How would we handle differences in parenting styles?
Chapter 6 — Faith & Spirituality (Questions 76–85)
- What role does faith play in your daily life?
- How important is it that we share the same beliefs?
- How would you want to raise our children spiritually?
- What does prayer or meditation look like in your life?
- How involved do you want to be in a faith community?
- Has your faith ever been tested? How did you respond?
- What moral principles guide your decisions?
- How do you handle doubts about your faith?
- What does forgiveness mean to you from a spiritual perspective?
- How do you feel about tithing or financial giving to a faith community?
Chapter 7 — Lifestyle, Intimacy & Future (Questions 86–101)
- What does a happy marriage look like to you?
- What are your expectations for physical intimacy in marriage?
- How important is romance to you in a long-term relationship?
- What are your thoughts on maintaining friendships outside the marriage?
- How do you feel about social media's role in our relationship?
- What does quality time together look like for you?
- How do you envision dividing household responsibilities?
- Where do you see us living in five years? Ten years?
- What hobbies or interests do you hope to share as a couple?
- How do you feel about pets?
- What is your ideal vacation or way to unwind?
- How important is health and fitness to you?
- What would you do if you were unhappy in our marriage?
- How do you define loyalty in a relationship?
- What is the one thing you would never tolerate in a marriage?
- What do you want most from this relationship?